40 Days of Inner Voice – Day 12


I took a break from doing what I thought I was going to be doing during part of this afternoon to feel the anger that was arising in my system while I was processing something with my coach.

The mind was very irritated that I wasn't getting things done that I had planned on doing and was annoyed I had to do my makeup again before a client session.

And yet, this was growth, steping away from the computer and laying on the floor. Feeling the anger course through my veins.

In the past I would have kept working. Faught the tears back and kept working. Staying on the time block I had outlined for myself.

And as we know from a previous entry, I've been told plenty of times to not cry in this lifetime. 

Yet I stepped away.

Felt it.

Dana asked what the anger was about.

Inner voice said, “Conflicting tides.”

After a few exchanges what came through very clearly was that the character that is Lauren really was thinking she was being told the way that she does things is wrong. And she doesn't want to be told she can't do things her way, and she also doesn't want the way she does things to be wrong. 

I feel that so deeply in the core of my body.

On one hand, wanting to “do it right” (yes, I know, as if there's a “right” way to do things anwyay) and on the other hand wanting to do it “my way”–and when the two seem to be at odds… 

Well, there in lies the conflict, of course.

And the anger.

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