40 Days of Inner Voice – Day 30

NOT FEELING IT

Yesterday and today my energy and mood has been pretty low.

I started my period early (which I'm kind of glad about because then I'm not having to bleed on my trip next week). And my mood and energy is pretty low. I am very much excited about what all is to come, yet feeling discouraged in this present moment.

I have spent a lot of time and energy the last year and a quarter experimenting with new ways of being. I no longer am able to sustain go go go, do do do, overworking energy. I can't unknow my design type, and I wouldn't, because I've been manging my energy so much better. I will continue to experiment, of course, and yet I'm looking forward to a bit more regularity, in a way.

I am anticipating the next wave of clients, or the ones that are looking forward to continuing their work together in a new way. There are quite a few things unfolding for this year. I'm also nervous that I won't be able to maintain my new way of being and roll out these new things. (Big inhale + exhale.)

At the same time, I don't want to not live and not create the things I feel are in alignment. I was recognized and invited. It was a splenic yes. I don't want to just hide under a rock. I want to be working with my kinds of people. I truly do. I love the work we do together. I love seeing how they change their lives and businesses as we work together. It's a gorgeous thing.

There's always a before. 

It just feels like there hasn't been one like this in a while, or ever. And the mind is having quite a field day with it at times. It wants to tell me all the things I've done wrong. That my shift into speaking more about Human Design, Gene Keys, and energetics, and doing business differently has ruined everything. If I just would've continued to do things as I was doing them, maybe just a little less, then it would be better. 

But I know deep inside my bones I'm not supposed to do things the way that everyone does them. I'm not meant to be a carbon copy. I'm not meant to just do things how they have been proven to work. Or follow the crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with those who do choose to do that. By all means, do what you're drawn to.

I want to work with the ones that want to do it their way. In alignment with their Design. With deep trust. With the utmost Knowing. Even when things don't appear to be “working” visually at a specific moment in time. The ones that just Know they are paving a new path. They're switching things up. They're speaking out on what they believe. What their values are. Living their lives, their way. Crafting their calendars how they want. Experimenting with their energy. Being magnetic in their differences.

Those are the ones I get extra excited about working with. I am that person too. And I will be an example of that. Including following my inner voice's guidance to do this 40 day experiment, despite the mind hating doing it most days. Thinking it's pointless. Stupid. Too vulnerable. Not helpful. A waste of time and breath.

Yet here we are.

May you have the courage to follow the nudges, even if your mind screams most of the way.

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