The Ease of Hustle Podcast

57. The Wrong Question: How Can I Be Spontaneous and Honor My Commitments?

For the creative and more spiritually leanings types, the topic of spontaneity and commitment can be a hot one. The mind can tell us that these things are mutually exclusive and that we can't have both at the same time. What do you think spontaneity is? What is a commitment and what do you believe about honoring your commitment?

In this episode, Lauren teaches you that being spontaneous and honoring your commitments are not mutually exclusive. She helps you examine what asking this question reveals about how you see the world and how to shift it to get what you want, without sacrificing your autonomy. She'll show you the core issues at play and how to use spontaneity for yourself, rather than against yourself.

What You'll Learn From This Episode:

  • Why spontaneity and honoring commitments aren't mutually exclusive
  • What being out of alignment means
  • The essential question most people miss
  • Redefining how you think about commitments
  • How to use spontaneity in service of your intentions, rather than against

Listen to the Full Episode:

57. The Wrong Question: How Can I Be Spontaneous and Honor My Commitments?

The Ease of Hustle with Lauren Cash

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Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, you're listening to The Ease of Hustle, the podcast where limited time is the strategy and not the limitation. I'm your host Lauren Cash. In each episode, I'll guide you to effectively create your goals and intentions in life and business without burning yourself out or making yourself sick. Rather than doing things the way everyone else is, I'll encourage you to embody your Human Design and Gene Keys or whatever else resonates for you personally, for a much more easeful and magnetic experience. Are you ready to join the movement? 

One of the topics that's bound to come up when talking about planning and utilizing your time effectively, is that of spontaneity and commitment.

I've found that when I work with creatives and those more spiritually leaning, this topic becomes even hotter. It's as if the mind thinks that spontaneity and honoring a commitment are mutually exclusive. You can't have both at the same time. In this episode, I'm going to teach you why asking how you can be spontaneous while honoring your commitments reveals things about your belief system.

And we'll also talk about how you're entering into commitments and where spontaneity is coming from. So let's get started. Number one is asking this question really reveals that you believe that you cannot be spontaneous while also honoring commitments. Spontaneous people, let's say you maybe identify as a spontaneous person.

You also think that you can't honor commitments, or maybe you believe that having commitments means that you cannot be spontaneous. This assumption makes me think of a few questions. So instead, I want you to start with understanding what you believe spontaneity to be. So answer the question. What do you think spontaneity is?

I also want you to answer what is a commitment and what do you believe about honoring your commitment? If you think spontaneity is doing whatever you want, whenever you want, then you can still do whatever you want whenever you. Even if you have a commitment because you are choosing to keep that commitment.

Even if things change down the line, you can still decide, I want to honor this commitment, even though I can do whatever I want whenever I want and commitments, what is a commitment? It's just something I've agreed to do and say I'm going to do, and I do it. It could be. I'm committed to my partner. I'm committed to recording this podcast.

I'm committed to posting on Instagram three times a week. I'm committed to showing up for my clients during their client's sessions. I'm committed to sleeping eight hours a night. It's an agreement. It's something you say you're going to do, and you do it. You can also be spontaneous, while also honoring commitments.

There could be certain things on your calendar or in your life that are commitments. Like you could be in a committed relationship. You could be committed to getting a certain number of hours of sleep. You could be committed to podcasting for a season. You could be committed to showing up for your client sessions, sending an email once a week to your list, et cetera.

And then also be spontaneous within those things. So you can be spontaneous around what comes through for you to write to your email list. You could spontaneously write three emails one week, rather than just one email that week you could spontaneously write that email at a coffee shop rather than in your home office.

You could spontaneously surprise your partner with something you could between client sessions spontaneously go outside and get some Vitamin D, like the spontaneity can be within the way in which you carry out the commitment, but it also can be just in between the, in between moments of your life, where things are happening, that aren't planned.

So maybe that's part of this question too is, folks are thinking that I can't have some things planned while also letting things unfold organically. No, we can have both. We can plan things and allow for there to be magic in the unfolding of that thing itself. And we also can have in between those things, the random unfolding and fun spontaneity of life between our commitments.

So within and between. So the second thing I want you to think about is how are you entering into your commitments? This, I think is actually one of the key issues with folks that are asking about how do I honor my commitments and still allow for spontaneity is they're asking this because a lot of the commitments they've made they've entered into them out of alignment.

And what do I mean by out of alignment? I often refer to being in alignment as living in your Human Design and your Gene Keys. So being in alignment would be following your strategy and authority and living within your design as far as it feels correct for you. So maybe you entered into something, you agreed to a commitment, but you did not do that through what it was in full integrity for you, what your inner voice told you, what your inner intuition told.

What really seemed like you. So maybe you didn't use your strategy and authority and you committed to something that really was not meant for you because you did not use this body-based intuitive knowing, and you just took something on from the mind because you thought you should do it. You saw somebody else do it.

Somebody else told you, you should a lot of shoulds taking on other people's expectations, looking around us and just forcing things or coming up with things out of nothing when we're not manifesters. Often the issue is we have commitments that we've entered into that were not yeses for us. So then there's friction later, we have friction with those commitments because we weren't meant to be in those commitments to begin with.

Or there could be friction or issues mentally from the mind when something is meant for us. But it's just coming from the mind. The mind has issues with what we felt was a yes for us, according to our design. But now the mind naturally doesn't wanna do that thing because it has some sort of argument or belief about it, or it's like really weird or different than what everyone else is doing.Or it's doubting if it could work, etcetera. So then we need to clear all of that mind drama up with the self coaching model and coaching. 

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this episode. I wanted to interrupt you real quick to give you an exclusive invitation to a free two-day workshop that I'm hosting called the time and energy audit.

If you listen to the last few episodes, you know that I was doing a Time Inventory Lab, well, this is the next part. And don't worry if you didn't join the Time Inventory Lab, you'll be able to do the work in preparation. For the time and energy audit, we're going to be live together on Wednesday, August 3rd and Thursday, August 4th, during the workshop, I'm gonna teach you how to assess your time inventory data strategically, how to re-decide for what is on your plate and what needs to go, how to determine effectiveness before optimizing for efficiency.

And view all of your energy allocations and adjust them for heightened ease. Are you ready to come hang out with me in this virtual workshop? I sure hope so. Come join me to register for the workshop. Head to thelaurencash.com/teaworkshop. That's the T H E L A U R E N C A S H. C O M forward slash tea like T E A workshop, spelled out W O R K S H O P, thelaurencash.com/teaworkshop.

And I can't wait to see you there. Now back to the episode, how do you determine the parameters for a commitment? Like what is a commitment that kind of goes back to that first question but, what is the rule? Like what is the commitment to specifically? So maybe let's say you put something on your calendar.

Is that a commitment? How did you enter into putting that on your calendar? Can you still be committed to the outcome, but be flexible in the way that you get there? Not changing things against yourself or just because your mind is thinking it's too hard. Or it doesn't wanna do that right now, but maybe it is meant to shift to a different time because that will serve you in the long run and being flexible will be really helpful.

So really look at how are you entering into these commitments? Were they meant for you or were you just taking on things that were not meant for you? And now you're trying to force yourself to do it. And you're thinking this is a conversation about being spontaneous and honoring commitments when commitment wasn't really meant for you in this area.

Finally, where is this like spontaneous spontaneity coming from? So I think spontaneity. Can look really different. It can be different in different instances. So there can be, it can look spontaneous sometimes when you're following your authority and something is a yes right now. And you're talking about this thing being a yes, and then it changes and another moment, and it's not a yes, for example, let's say you were, you got a yes.

To apply for a job. Then you end up getting like an interview for the job, and that was a yes, to do the interview and then you get the job offer, but then you take that through your authority and it's actually a, no, that could seem really spontaneous from the outside or kind of flaky that you applied, did the interview, but then it was a no to actually take the job.

When really that could be in alignment for you. I think, especially at least what I've found, the sacral authority and the splenic authority can look really spontaneous because they are answering questions, especially. So the sacral authority is really like moment by moment. Yes or no questions. Breaking it all down.

I think all of our authorities though, should really, we should break down the questions we're asking them for guidance for, but especially the sacral is like this, yes, no. In the moment Uhhuh. Uh, and then splenic too. I just get like splenic hits. Like it seems random, and it seems sometimes really spontaneous and things are changing really quickly and can go really fast.

So to, to the outside that can look spontaneous. But that isn't something that is going against my honoring commitments. That's me following my authority versus something else that can look spontaneous is avoidance. So avoiding doing something we said we were gonna do avoiding not, not doing something that was a commitment that could look like it's spontaneous of.

Like, I now have this new information and now I'm not gonna do this thing I was gonna do because I just, I wanna do this other thing. I'm gonna be spontaneous and just do this other thing, even though we may have been drawn by our authority to do the first thing we agreed upon. Now that there's new information, we ignore it.

That agreement we've made and spontaneously avoid doing the thing we were planning on doing, maybe because there's some fear there, even though it was an alignment for us to do that thing. So we have to be careful if it's in alignment, coming from alignment first, coming from a shadow. So our shadows are, our like unintentional thinking.

It's where we, have work to do. It's where we unintentionally are just by default to doing things against ourselves. Maybe it's somewhere that we have doubt or it's where we're having, um, overwhelm like a lot of indulgent emotions. So the shadow is not us in alignment. It's us acting from our not selves.

Are not being in alignment with our soul-based highest future self. So acting from that shadow can look like procrastination can look like avoidance can look like spontaneity and not honoring our commitments, but also acting in alignment from our strategy and authority. Can also look the same way from the outside.

So actions can look similarly to outside. We only know the difference. If we know where it's coming from in the self coaching model, it's like, what is the thought and feeling driving that action. That is what will fuel that action and give us the result we want or don't want. And in Human Design it's, is this coming from ourselves, ourselves like us in alignment from our definition or from the high expression of the centers from our Gene Keys, from our gates, from our design as a whole, our strategy and authority? Is it coming from that grounded place or is it coming from some shadow of a center or from some us not following our strategy and authority? So really check in with where is this spontaneous appearing from the outside spontaneous action coming. And then often one of the thought errors that occurs for a lot of us is not wanting to do something in the moment.

So maybe we made a commitment on our calendar to carry out this thing, recording a podcast, for example, but then we get to that on our calendar and our mind thinks I don't want to very, very common mind thought is I don't want to. So then you might think spontaneously, you're gonna not do it, cuz you're not in alignment.

You don't really feel like doing it. You're not really like things aren't flowing, but you know that the rest of this week, you're not gonna be able to record the podcast because you're moving. You're not going to have a place to be able to have great sound set up. So instead of thinking, you need to be in a certain state to record it, you know, overall you want to record it because you want people to hear what you have to say.

You want to get this season out and you know, that it is meant to, like, you feel deep down that it is a yes to record it, even though your mind is being maybe perfectionistic with some of these lessons of thinking that you need to be in a perfect flow state to record your podcast. So be careful with, you know, spontaneity and not honoring your commitments when the mind is just coming up with, I don't want to. Sometimes the mind offers. I don't want to, even for things that are aligned, even for things that we actually want to honor our commitments with.

And then finally, I want to talk about the third way. So often when. This whole conversation comes up around honoring a commitment versus being spontaneous is we've planned something.

Let's say we've committed to ourselves or to someone else something on a calendar, cause I'm a time coach, that's what comes up a lot is I've planned on this thing in the future. I've planned on this thing. Now we've got to the future and we have new information. So, if I act on that new information, maybe you're thinking that's being spontaneous and not honoring your commitment.

So let's say for example, I had planned Thursday at 11:00 AM to record podcast, episode 57. So I had planned that in the past for right now. And then let's say that something came up, uh, somebody invited me to lunch today. So I could think, okay, I could be spontaneous and go to lunch. That feels like a yes for me.

I was maybe let's even say I was as a Human Design Projector, my strategy is to be recognized and invited. Maybe someone even recognized me for being a really amazing lunch date. and they invited me to go to lunch with them. Splenically, it feels like a yes, but then I had planned and I felt really aligned with recording this podcast episode.

Often we think the decision is just between recording the podcast episode or going to lunch. What I want us to also consider is there can be a third way. We could actually be a yes for both and both could happen in the calendar, in the schedule in today in a way we hadn't planned on earlier. So then we open up our minds to the possibility of how that could flow together.

How could I be spontaneous? Go to lunch and honor my commitment to the podcast episode. How could I be open to how that unfolds? And I really love that aspect of honoring our commitments and being spontaneous and letting magic time happen, where we had planned other things in our calendar. And we weren't really sure how we were gonna get everything done, but even something else comes up and it all flows and comes together because we were open to there being enough time and energy for it all.

Okay. So in today's episode, I taught you about how asking about how can I be spontaneous while honoring my commitments in the same question, reveals that you don't believe that both can exist at the same time. When in reality we can take aligned action. That looks like from the outside, maybe to be spontaneous while also not threatening the commitments that we are fully behind honoring. That are really aligned full of integrity.

Yes, these are the things that we're going to carry out. Sometimes if we're having a hard time holding that both can be true. We may have found something that we have entered into either a commitment or a spontaneity that isn't aligned or serving us. So we can reinspect it and let go of what needs to be, let go of. If we get curious about where they're coming from, we can find out if it's in our best interest to uphold the commitment and not do something that maybe is potentially spontaneous and threatening that.

Or if we can adjust both together, there's often a third path, a both, and the santosha. So one of the essential things that we must do. When we audit our time and energy is to survey what we have committed to and what's on the plate and make sure we're aligned with everything that's on there. It's kind of like when we clean out our closets, we wanna make sure that we're still a full yes.

For everything in the closet, but we have to take it all out first and then we have to go through it all to make sure we're still a yes, for all of it. We're going to do this with our energy and time commitments in my upcoming workshop. It's a two-day workshop called The Time and Energy audit. You're invited to grab your free seat for this virtual live event happening August 3rd and 4th.

So go check out today's show notes to register for that. It's the Lauren cash.com/ 57. The numbers five and seven. And I can't wait to see you there.

Thank you so much as always for joining me on The Ease of Hustle. If you liked this episode, please share it with somebody who you think needs to hear it. And it would also be so amazing if you rated the show and left a review so that others, like you can enjoy it too. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram.

You can find me at @thelaurencash. That's T H E L A U R E N C A S H. Shoot me a DM there and love to chat. Until next time.

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