The Ease of Hustle Podcast
58. The Wrong Question: How Do I Stop Getting Behind?
Have you ever felt overwhelmed because you thought you were behind? You probably have, if you're human. This is one of the mind's favorite ways to cause unnecessary pain. There is no such thing as being behind. Wherever you thought you would be at this point, was all made up. You are where you are right now, and that's all there is.
What You'll Learn From This Episode:
- Why this is the wrong question
- What to do with this thought error when it appears
- Why you are thinking this way
- Why you're really asking this question
- How to rid yourself of the need to ask it ever again
Listen to the Full Episode:
58. The Wrong Question: How Do I Stop Getting Behind?
Featured On The Show:
Full Episode Transcript:
Hey, you're listening to The Ease of Hustle, the podcast where limited time is the strategy and not the limitation. I'm your host Lauren Cash. In each episode, I'll guide you to effectively create your goals and intentions in life and business without burning yourself out or making yourself sick. Rather than doing things the way everyone else is, I'll encourage you to embody your Human Design and gene keys or whatever else resonates for you personally, for a much more easeful and magnetic experience. Are you ready to join the movement?
If I had a dollar for every time, a client told me that they were so overwhelmed and behind I'd be a millionaire, maybe even a multimillionaire at this point. This is one of the mind's favorite ways to cause unnecessary pain. The story of being behind. So I'm extra looking forward to helping you understand why asking, “how do I stop getting behind” is the wrong question to ask because it's really going to shift the time paradigm.
If you let it today, we're going to approach this question first from the understanding of why this is the wrong question and a new way of seeing time that will help set you free from asking that question ever again. Then I'm going to teach you exactly what to do when your mind offers you the thought error of I'm behind so that you can easily get out of it.
And then finally, we'll talk about why you may often find yourself in this situation of thinking you're behind and how to solve it from more of a root issue. So you're not having to overcome it as often. So we're kind of gonna do the bandaid situation, and then we're gonna excavate after that. So you know how to get out of it quickly if you're there and then how to more globally solve it.
So it's the wrong question to ask because there's no such thing as behind, where we are right now is where we are right now. Behind means that there is this fantasy place in our minds of where we thought we should be. And we are not there. And usually, when we're talking about being behind, it's like with a particular work or school or some sort of productivity assignment where we had planned to have completed something by a certain date, but then we get to that date and we're not where we thought we would be, but it was all made up where we thought we would be.
When we had planned it. So when we are in this moment right now, and we're planning in the future, what we think we're going to get done, what we're planning to get done between now and the future moment. That's just a guess. There's no way of knowing for sure. We're gonna get all of that done exactly as we've planned.
And probably we won't, unless we just happen to. And that's not the point of planning. It's not to do everything we do exactly. It's actually to become more intentional. And then from that in intentionality, we can still be resilient when things come up because they will, and we can still create what we've intentionally decided we want to create.
But most likely it won't happen exactly the way we planned it. Sometimes it will, but that kind of ruins things for you in future times, because then you're gonna think maybe you automatically think something's gone wrong. There's something wrong with me. I'm not very productive. I'm not good at my job.
That's where a lot of the mind drama comes in when we plan something a specific way. And then we don't do it exactly that way. And then we beat ourselves up or we start blaming the planning and the intentionality that we shouldn't do that because it's really painful when we do that because we never follow it exactly.
But that's not the point. The point is to be intentional about what we're creating, knowing that it's all sketched in erasable pencil and we're going to be adjusting it and being resilient, as things unfold and we can still be committed to the result that we said we would commit, but the timeline sometimes might be flexible.
Now we don't wanna flexibly be changing the result against ourselves, doing it from avoidance, from procrastination, from shadowy, not self places. But there is a place for being resilient, taking in new information, adjusting our plan accordingly with now everything that we know in this now moment.
So there's no such thing as behind because there's no specific there in a future where we're supposed to be. And there's no back there that we are not to either. There's no theres, only here. There's only here. There's only right now. There's only what we've gotten done thus far. There's only the work that is outstanding that we think that we want to accomplish.
So if that's the case, then that leads us into our solution for when we're thinking we're behind what we do. So what you'll do when your mind is thinking that you're behind, you'll remind it, there's no such thing as behind. There's just where I am right now and where I'm moving towards. So we'll take inventory of everything we think we need to do in order to be, you know, what our mind is thinking of is not behind.
So everything you think you need to do for that thing. So like if you're writing a paper, what are all of the sections? What are all of the steps? What are all of the research aspects that you need to complete in order to have the result done? Download everything that you're thinking is outstanding between you now and where you wanna be between the, what your mind is thinking is where you are right now is where you're behind to your mind to being exactly on time.
Like what's the gap between those two things, download it all, get it all out of your mind and onto paper. Get the step by step down. Break down everything into the ridiculous. So I want you to like, make it each step. So ridiculously easy. Your mind's like, yes, of course, I can reconcile week one of 2022 or something, let's say you're behind on your bookkeeping.
Like break it all down. Don't have it be super vague of like do taxes, that's way too vague. So break it all down into all of the steps. If you need to learn something research something. Write down, everything you'll need to do in order to actually do that. Have it be so obvious that you could hand it to somebody else and they would know what to do exactly and would easily think they could follow that list and get it done.
Then once you do that, I want you to question everything on that list and ask yourself, “Could I delete this and still get the result that I want? Could I delegate this step, this aspect, and still get the result that I want? Could I delay this piece, this thing that I'm thinking I need to be doing right now, because I want to focus in on this one result?
And then the last one is, “Could I do this in an easier way?” I still need to come up with a “D” word for that. But like, for example, what I just did with my podcast producer, we're emailing back and forth, which you all know how I feel about emailing, but she emails. So I'm emailing. So we're emailing back and forth.
And one of the things is there are certain things she needs to be notified of. Like when I upload a new podcast episode for her to edit. So instead of me having to email every single time, I'm cutting out a step there and I set up a zap with Zapier so that every time I create a new folder in our podcast season folder, that says episode like this next one, this one today is episode 58.
When I create a new folder that says Episode 58 and I upload the audio, the raw audio there for her, it will automatically email her and say, “Hey, audio this, is there.” And that's what I used to do in Slack. When I had podcast producers in Slack, instead of needing to actually add an extra step to slack the team, it would just automatically notify them when I uploaded a new audio.
So there are things like this in your workflows that could make everything go so much faster. But you only wanna do that after you question everything, get rid of things, delegate things, delay things, defer things, delay defer, same thing, then, and only then after we've narrowed it all down, then we ask what's the easiest way to get the same result.
How can we cut out the excess? How can we then automate, systematize, make everything go so much smoother? And cut down on our time, shave off time because all of that time counts, then what you're gonna do is plot everything on the calendar. So you'll wanna decide how long you're gonna take on each thing and put it on a calendar, put it on the schedule.
I actually, I just did this with one of my clients. One of my private clients just had moved and they were distracting themselves with all of the move and stuff they wanted to do. While it was during their work day. So that happens a lot with the mind is if you don't have a place for it, when you know you're doing the thing, it will interrupt your work, thinking you don't wanna do the thing that you're working on.
And go do this other thing that it thinks is more fun and has no idea when that's happening. It often happens for us with social media, like when is social media time on our calendar or when is Netflix time on our calendar. So then instead of working, we'll distract ourselves by using social media or watching Netflix, et cetera.
So to manage our minds around that more and to be more intentional, What we need to do is set aside intentional time to actually do those things. So with this client, we set aside two nights a week, and then a weekend day that they were going to work on their move tasks. So then when they were working in the middle of a Tuesday and their mind was like, let's go hang pictures.
It was easy to redirect the mind and say, no, we're gonna do that Thursday night at 6:00 PM. And get back to work. So you'll wanna plot everything out on your calendar so that you know exactly when it's getting done and your mind doesn't have to ruminate or distract itself or have these energy leaks around when it's going to get done, get it done.
And then the last step is just following your calendar. Of course, being resilient, ebbing, flowing, and knowing the things will get done when they're supposed to get done. But now you have a plan for it. Now it's all accounted for on your calendar. Now you don't have to tell yourself you're behind. You can tell yourself, I know exactly when it's getting done.
I'm gonna follow my calendar. And I also know, even if something comes up, I'm resilient, I'm smart. I can ebb and flow with what comes up and make great decisions and still get the thing done when it's meant to get done. All right. So that's what you're gonna do when your mind offers you, I'm behind, you're gonna follow all of those steps.
And then that way you can show your mind no this is where we are right now and this is the plan because a lot of times it likes to indulge in this: I'm behind. Everything is terrible. There's something wrong with me. Everything's gone wrong instead of actually getting to work. So it helps you get out of that.
It helps you separate out what you're thinking from what the facts are, what do we actually need to get done? And of course, making the plan also helps you believe that it's possible. To still get the thing done when you're thinking you're behind. You're not believing I can still get the thing done by the time.
But if we transition into what do we have outstanding, how do we get it done? We're believing, of course I can still get this done.
Hey, I hope you're enjoying this episode. I wanted to interrupt you real quick to give you an exclusive invitation to a free two-day workshop that I'm hosting called The Time and Energy Audit. If you listen to the last few episodes, you know, that I was doing a Time Inventory Lab. Well, this is the next part and don't worry if you didn't join The Time Inventory Lab, you'll be able to do the work and preparation for The Time and Energy Audit.
We're going to be live together on Wednesday, August 3rd and Thursday, August 4th. During the workshop, I'm gonna teach you how to assess your time inventory data strategically, how to re-decide for what is on your plate and what needs to go, how to determine effectiveness before optimizing for efficiency and view all of your energy allocations and adjust them for heightened ease.
Are you ready to come hang out with me in this virtual workshop? I sure hope so. Come join me. To register for the workshop, head to thelaurencash.com/teaworkshop. That's the T H E L A U R E N C A S H dot C O M slash tea like T E A workshop spelled out W O R K S H O P thelaurencash.com/teaworkshop. And I can't wait to see you there. Now, back to the episode.
Then finally, let's talk about the root issue. So how do we not get into that state as often? So we have to like go through that exercise because we're thinking the thought error I'm behind. So here are some of the reasons we get into that situation. The first is we take on more than what is for us, for our energy, for the time we have for the resources we have in this season, because we're not following our strategy and our authority.
So this is, these are Human Design terms. Our strategy and our authority will help us protect our energy and only take on what we will have energy for in this season. And if we're not following that, it's going to be often that we're thinking we're behind or that we might not even have actually enough energy for everything that's on our plate.
The second thing is not knowing how to say no. So a lot of people pleasing, let's say we do check in with our strategy and authority, but we sense a no, it is a no, but then we don't say no, because we're afraid of people being disappointed, or we're afraid of how they're going to react. We need to learn how to say no and how to deal with people, having their own thoughts about us that have nothing to do with us and us following our own alignment, because what's true is what is correct for us is correct for everyone.
So if it's a no for us, even though that person might be super disappointed at first, it's going to end up in the long game being what was best for everyone, even if we, or they can't see it right now, or maybe never seeing it, but there was some reason that it was meant to be that way. The third thing is being in a hurry.
So being in a rush, being in a hurry, this is usually coming from scarcity, thinking that there's not enough time, there's too much to do adding things on. Because we're in a hurry. So a lot of times before we, like, if we're working on starting a new business or we're growing a, a business and we're still doing another gig, a lot of times we'll take on that new business and be trying to solve and build that business and being really afraid of burning out and all of that without dialing in the main gig first, without creating more time in our schedule.
More energy in our schedule, more rinse and repeat for what we already have on our plate first. So that adding in the new business and growing the new business is completely easy. So beyond to yourself, if you're like in a hurry, you're trying really hard to quickly get something started. It's probably coming from scarcity.
It's probably thinking that it's not gonna happen, like be onto what are your beliefs that are driving you to really rush and take on more than what is meant to be taken on right now, if you knew there was plenty of time, you had lots of life seasons ahead of you, that the correct timing will appear for this thing that you're excited to do, then you wouldn't be in a hurry.
The fourth thing is expecting ourselves not to be human. So we often take on more than really is correct for us. I, I don't really like that term correct for us, but I don't know what else to say than really is like, meant for us because we're thinking we're not human, or we start to say yes to things when we're in like our highest energetic state of the month.
Maybe it's like a new moon. Or maybe we're about to ovulate if we're ovulating humans, or maybe we just came back from a conference and we're like high off of the sacral energy. If we're non-sacral beings or maybe other people's energy is influencing us, or we're thinking we're suddenly gonna have like this unbounding energy that will never vary.
So expecting ourselves not to be human, not to have energy fluctuations, we can tend to take on more than what is really going to be sustainable. So remember you are human. You're not gonna suddenly have like a ton of extra energy. Yes. There's some room for adjusting your energy and having enough energy for things, but it's not gonna, you're not gonna suddenly be this, like non-human force that like never runs out of energy. Like the Energizer bunny.
Second to last thing is forcing yourself to stay in something that's not best for you. So sometimes things were a yes and they become a no, but then we force ourselves to carry it out because we have some story about, we can't be a quitter or we need to see our commitments through, or we need to honor our word or something like that.
But sometimes there are expiration dates on things. They were a yes, until they were a no. So don't force yourself to stay in something that is no longer a yes. Or you might find yourself in this whole behind situation that you're thinking you're in. And then another one is not asking for help. So not getting help from, and I'm not just talking about like people who are close to you, employees.
Et cetera. I'm also talking about using technology. Like I was just talking about with, uh, Zapier, like not getting help, like making things harder on ourselves than they really need to be not using systems and processes, not hiring the VA, not hiring program coaches, et cetera. Making things harder on ourselves than they really need to be.
Then we will have more on our plate than really is necessary for us. Maybe some of the things are a yes for us, but the plate isn't meant to be carried just by ourselves. It's meant to be done collectively within the business. The business is a yes for a thing, but it doesn't mean that it's a yes for us to have to execute absolutely everything for that to be a yes.
Okay. And then finally, the last one is not setting time aside to create strategic solutions. So for example, adding on that side gig or new business without getting the current commitments on rinse and repeat. So you're just trying to like triage everything all day long, but you're not setting aside time to figure out.
Okay. Like when is the laundry getting? How is it gonna be so systematized that it's like barely any energetic output? There's no decisions that have to be made. It's almost as if I'm not even having to do laundry because it's just on lock. Like every Thursday I take it out and I sort it every Friday I throw the first load in the wash.
Like how can we make everything that's already on your plate? So rinse and repeat so automated that it basically takes no energy. So make sure you're taking time out to create strategic solutions rather than just like always trying to keep up or get ahead when you're thinking you're behind.
So today you learned there's no such thing as being behind. You learned what to do when your mind offers you the thought error that you're behind, and you also began to contemplate some of the root issues that are creating the state to begin with. We're gonna be talking more about topics like this in The Time and Energy Audit.
You're invited to join us. It's happening this August 3rd and 4th. I hope to see you there. It's free. Grab yours. You can do that at thelaurencash.com/58. That's the numbers five eight. And those are the show notes for today. Hope you have a good one. Bye.
Thank you so much as always for joining me on The Ease of Hustle. If you liked this episode, please share it with somebody who you think needs to hear it. And it would also be so amazing if you rated the show and left a review so that others, like you can enjoy it too. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram.
You can find me @thelaurencash. That's T H E L A U R E N C A S H. Shoot me a DM there. I'd love to chat. Until next time.
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